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Hey hey! This site has made it through two years online and 100 posts! That makes an average of 50 posts a year, which averages out to a little less than one a week. Not terribly shabby, huh? In any case, on with the Chinese.

I’ve been having a bit of trouble rounding up truly beginner texts, and whenever I try I end up with an intermediate post. But this one, though not earth-shattering, should certainly do. We’ve got three short jokes here of the silly variety, appropriate for young kids.

Learning to Read Chinese for Beginners: Childrens Jokes in Mandarin ChineseThough we could probably skip this info, you might want to know that 晨练 – meaning “morning exercise” – is a much more formalized concept in China than in west. Here, every morning in almost any weather, crowds of old people gather together in parks around 6-7a.m. to do group taiqi, stretch and take brisk walks. This is so prevalent that you can show up at any park or open community space in China early in the morning and see groups of mostly old people doing their exercises. So, while reading the first joke, you should imagine a scene of 40 or so retirees doing taiqi forms in the park.

Click to Listen

晨练 – chén liàn – Morning exercise
退休 – tuì xiū – Retire
笨蛋 – bèn dàn – Idiot
汉堡 – hàn bǎo – Hamburger
告诉 – gào su – To tell
谈 – tán – Speak, discuss
蟑螂 – zhāng láng – Cockroach


小姑娘指着晨练的老人问: 为什么他们能天天到公园来玩?
奶奶:因为他们是退休人员。
一天,爸爸问女儿:你长大当什么?
小姑娘:退休人员。


父亲教儿子学算术:“一加一是多少?”
儿子:“不知道。”
父亲:“是两个,笨蛋!知道了吗?”
儿子:“知道了。”
父亲:“那么,我和你,加起来是几个人?”
儿子:“是两个笨蛋!”


一个女孩和一个男孩吃汉堡。男孩说女孩:“我要告诉你一件事!”
女孩说:“不要跟我说话在我吃的时候,当我吃我的汉堡,那么你就可以。”
所以,当他们吃完了女孩问男孩:“现在你想说什么呢?”
男孩说:“嗯,我是说,有一只蟑螂在你的汉堡里!”

SHOW ENGLISH TRANSLATION »
A little girl pointing at old people doing morning exercises, said: “Why are they allowed to play in the park all day?”
Grandmother: “Because they are retirees.”
One day, the father asked the little girl: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Little girl: A retiree!


Father is teaching his son arithmetic: “One plus one is how much?”
Son: “I don’t know.”
Father: “It’s two, idiot! You get it?”
Son: “I get it.”
Father: “Now, me and you, put us together and how many people is that?”
Son: “Two idiots!”


A girl and a boy are eating hamburgers. The boy says to the girl: “I want to tell you something!”
The girl says: “Don’t talk to me while I’m eating, when I’m done with my hamburger, then you can speak.”
So, when they finished eating the girl asked the boy: “Now what do you want to say?”
Boy says: “Huh, I was saying, there’s a cockroach in your hamburger.”


16 comments to "Our 100th Post! Plus some new beginner jokes"

  1. 又简单又搞笑!

  2. You have a wonderful site and I’ve learned a lot from your posts.

    but, in the English part the pinyin for 太极 is Tai Ji right? Or the other common spelling is Tai Chi. Is that a typo?

    • Oh, yeah. It’s “taiji” officially. But because it’s gotten so popular in the west, the westernized misspellings for this abound, and I’ve been wirting that “taiqi” in English for years.

      Officially it’s “taiji”, but not everyone knows what that is.

      In the bohemian land of new-agers, it’s “taichi” and to everyone else it’s “taiqi, taichee, taiqui” and every other possible wrong way of writing it.

  3. Haha I love that last one! Hilarious.

  4. Add please button below page like “next joke” for swinch further. It would be more comfortable for using of your remarcable site.

  5. Just want to say thanks for putting together this site, I use it every week to practice my chinese.

    It is great to enter the stories into google translate and click the listen button, they have a really good automated reading voice. Maybe you can integrate this into your website?

    Thanks again!

    • Hm, true, the google reading voice is way better than this one – wish I had time to develop a replacement! But I think that might have to wait. So glad you like the site.

  6. I love this website. It’s so helpful, thank you!

    It’s great to have some beginner material to read at last!

    I’m really enjoying being able to read and understand Chinese. I’m slow at it, though. I know I wouldn’t have a clue what was being said if I heard it being read out!

    • You know, Chinese really is almost like two languages in that way. You can become a fluent reader and barely be functional at speaking / listening. Isn’t that interesting?

  7. Thank you sooo much. These jokes are great!

  8. Here comes your 101 post…Your web site is great, the best (I have so far found on the total internet) and the most useful for those who are seaking to learn the art of reading Chinese.

    Thank you for all your great help! Please continue exactly same way you have done so far.

    Peter

  9. Thanks for posting.
    Even though they are a little 跛 (no sure if the word can be used in this way), good practice for my Chinese learning.

    I would prefer some jokes with puns and play on words if you have any.

    • Sadly, 跛 doesn’t works for “lame joke” – funny, though.

      If I run across anything with puns I’ll be sure to post.

  10. “男孩说女孩” is not natural Chinese. It should be “男孩对女孩说”.

  11. “不要跟我说话在我吃的时候,当我吃我的汉堡,那么你就可以谈。”

    In this sentence, how do you know that this means “when I’m done with my hamburger?”

  12. Huey, from what I can deduce from reading other stories on this site the character 当 is used to mark the transtion to a final state (meaning become) in the 当我吃 sentence this means become I eat or means finish eating.


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